As I was mentioning at the beginning of the semester, I was really struggling with writer’s block. But last week, during class, I was able to finally able to write and get my ideas flowing. I think the idea of the “situation” and the “story” made me think a lot deeper about something that I wanted to write about a while ago–a fire that broke out in my apartment building last year. I found that maybe the reason I couldn’t write about this before was because I was too fixated on the actual situation (and admittedly, was not particularly inspired to write about it until now). But I think there is something more to the story. I am interested in the intersection of identity and anxiety, especially in the aftermath of how this day affected me. My standard creative non-fiction voice tends to be a bit more dreamlike (I fall into a pattern of masking my emotion with metaphor & descriptions of the unconscious. After all, it is sometimes your unconscious that gives insight into your conscious). However, I think this story calls for my vividness (with still, some dreamlike sequences). I was thinking of even creating somewhat of a braided essay, and maybe telling the story of something else (though I don’t know what). I am not sure how I am going to use AI yet, admittedly. Last week, I found myself resisting the predicable endings ChatGPT was creating for me. My writing was an act of resistance. But perhaps, this is how I will start using ChatGPT–resisting it’s every word and thought. And then, over time, maybe it will teach me something.

Hi all,

I was interested in the lyric essay & what Vlad Ivanov called the Reflective Essay. I started by putting a prior essay into Chat GPT that I am working on editing/ elongating. The essay is about the distortion between reality & dreams, and the narrator in this essay uses the dream world to try to conceptualize her struggles found in reality. While this first draft was created in undergrad, I found that I would rely to heavily on metaphoric language, and while this is still a large part of my writing, I do think I want a next draft to be more thesis-focused.

I asked Chat GPT what the reflective elements are in my writing sample, as it currently exists, and it gave me this response:

“The reflective elements in the writing sample include:
1. Personal Perspective: The narrator describes their thoughts, emotions, and reactions to the events, offering insight into their inner world.
2. Inner Monologue: The narrative often delves into the narrator’s thoughts, providing glimpses of their contemplations and interpretations of the events.
3. Exploration of Feelings: The sample explores the emotional responses of the narrator, such as their sense of wonder, curiosity, and even anxiety in certain dream sequences.
4. Rumination on Memories: There is a recurring theme of memory and nostalgia, with the narrator recalling past experiences like crossing bridges and encountering water lilies.
5. Dream Analysis: The narrator’s dreams are interwoven into the narrative, and they reflect on the symbolic and emotional significance of these dreams.
However, it’s important to note that the writing sample lacks a conventional structure and a clear central thesis or argument often found in reflective essays.”

Oof, Chat GPT definitely was honest with me here. This response did make me think about what we traditionally define as a thesis… is it okay that this piece doesn’t have a clear, structural thesis? Is Chat GPT just giving an objective perspective? While I do want the thesis to be more clear, I don’t want it to necessarily be “structural” (this lends itself to the subject, of unconventional ways of thinking about reality). I think I want to further play with Chat GPT to find this balance.

I did ask Chat GPT to make the existing writing sample into a reflective essay, and it basically took every sentence in the piece, and elongated each (each sentence felt largely like an over-explanation). If anything, Chat GPT’s first go turned me away from the Reflective Essay, as it felt all too formal. But, I don’t want to give up yet.